An AU commission i did for @shadychantel_!
In which Nico grows up into a boy he could have been without Bianca’s death, and Leo gives up to his traumas and ends up more bitter </3
i posted this on twitter earlier today and thought i’d share it here too.
this bit from an interview with noelle stevenson really drew my attention. it reminded me that that’s why catra kept reiterating that “she left ME” when referring to adora
it quickly got me thinking about episode 11, an episode that i’ve been wanting to deconstruct and analyse ever since i watched it for the first time.
i realised that this is why the “promise” memory was the one that pushed catra over the edge. adora had promised catra that nothing bad could happen to them as long as they had each other & catra always believed that. their situation wouldn’t matter because they would look out for each other.
despite catra knowing of the horde’s manipulation, adora was enough for catra to stay. that’s why catra was so affronted when adora’s immediate reaction to realising the villainy of the horde was to leave. adora had been enough for catra, but catra wasn’t enough for adora.
while catra had lived by adora’s promise when they were kids, it seemed to her that adora hadn’t. that isn’t to say that catra isn’t important to adora – it’s just that it’s also important for adora to be on the “good side”. but catra doesn’t understand this humanitarian aspect to things. she got the impression that it wouldn’t matter what side they were on as long as they were together. there was the war, and then there was them – on nobody’s “side” except their own. remember when she said this? (particular emphasis on the last sentence)
catra had the idea that they’d work through fixing things together. so when adora suddenly leaves to join the rival side, catra feels that their little unit is broken. not only that, but take particular note of this exchange.
catra is realising that humanity is perhaps more important to adora than she is. adora knew catra took the brunt of the abuse, but that never drove her to take any drastic action against shadow weaver. adora only turned away when she realised the rest of the world was threatened. those memory simulations made catra realise this – that again, she wasn’t enough for adora and that “sides” were of greater importance to adora than she was once led to believe.
the “promise” memory was catra’s breaking point. it was a reminder that adora had promised that nothing mattered as long as they had each other, and a reminder that she had broken it. it confirmed that everything adora was doing was a personal betrayal to them, to their friendship, and to their promise.
and that very moment marked the beginning of catra’s descent into villainy.
it always felt uncomfortable to watch catra become so suddenly immersed in the activities of the horde when she used to show such apathy at what they did. but that’s because it’s not about the horde, or about the rebellion at all. catra’s true intentions are hidden under the guise of war. it’s not that she particularly supports the horde, but she uses it as a means through which she can get back at adora. the war is essentially a front for the deeply-rooted, personal problems catra has with adora.
it was never about “sides” but since adora was so quick to choose a side over her, catra is trying to prove that she can do the same. she’s trying to prove that she’s not weaker without adora, that she doesn’t care about the broken promise either.
but ultimately, the truth of the matter is – catra does care.
and all of this links back to what noelle originally said: everything catra feels towards adora’s betrayal is personal. and this is what underpins all her actions.
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