guy who stands on street and spins sign for quiznos
being spider-man
and thats IT i dont want any of this “hes a genius tech ceo making millions” SHIT. Spider-man is BROKE and he missed rent this month and he has a tiny apartment and thats how its MEANT TO BE. he doesnt make money because he is our Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-man and not fucking Tony Stark.
how about dog walker while in spiderman costume
you. you get it
im imagining “being spider-man” as his full-time gig and i just
he has a patreon. the description is just the words “I’m Spider-Man” and all he ever posts is specifically-requested selfies from people who want to be sure its really him. pinned to the top of the page is a picture from the top of the empire state building (not the observation deck, the real top) of his spider-gloved hand holding a bagel that is on fire, with 34th street in the background
rather than death of the author i subscribe to a critical framework i like to refer to as Schrodinger’s Author where the authors intentions are important except for when i dont like them
see. look at this. 10/10 shield use. covers who body. no bullets for sam
what is this. weak. steve your legs are wide open. steve your feet are swiss cheese. steve your dick is gone it just got blown off. steve. steve. your dick is gone
I read this entirely in Tony’s voice
Tony’s benched cos of an injury, watching the fight from the tower and ‘helping’ them via coms as he watches the video feeds.
And by ‘helping’ I mean ‘critiquing his team’s fighting techniques while high on pain killers.’
@monobuu Rhodey comes up on the feeds and Tony goes on a 10 minute monologue about how perfect Rhodey is in every aspect ever in his life
“look, it’s not like i hid anything, it just never came up!”
“You called yourself out for ‘straighsplaining’“
the whole bi thing goes completely over charles’ head and he keeps getting really aggro like “oh you and jake were real close huh?? too bad, sucker jake is MY best friend!”
everybody else is like “charles no”
at the end john mulaney turns out to be the embezzler they’ve been looking for
The only way Jake Overshare Peralta, Jake TMI Peralta, Jake Heart-On-His-Sleeve Peralta would fail to bring up the fact that he is bi, is if he himself were oblivious to the fact.
Come on @morthils this isn’t Gina Linetti we’re talking about. Stay in character.
The only way Jake would have had a high school boyfriend and not told Amy and Holt is if Jake himself did not realize that this dude was his boyfriend.
He would describe the relationship to Amy and she’d be like, “So you guys were dating” and he’d be like “It wasn’t like that that” and she’d be like:
😐
and Jake would be like, OH MY GOD. I HAD A BOYFRIEND IN HIGH SCHOOL. WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME THIS.
Lots of “practice kissing” was involved.
Jake’s mom is absolutely That Overly Supportive Parent with the bumper sticker and the flag who never actually like, talks to her son about it.
“I just thought she was really liberal!”
The accidental boyfriend plot was in Fresh Off the Boat, so it might work *thinking*
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