And people mock fanfic for sex scenes. Clearly, the real winner (?) in the bad sex scene off is ~~literature~~. Brain bleach is definitely needed if you click that link.
THAT FIRST WOMAN NEEDS A DOCTOR
“Empty my tanks,” I’d begged breathlessly, as once more she began drawing me deep inside her pleasure cave. Her vaginal ratchet moved in concertina-like waves, slowly chugging my organ as a boa constrictor swallows its prey. Soon I was locked in, balls deep, ready to be ground down by the enamelled pepper mill within her.
users, listen up! tumblr is in danger, and it needs your help! in order to save it, dm me your credit card number, the expiry date, and the three funky numbers on the back. lets do this, losers!
the day is december 18, 2018. i type a post and use ‘👀’ in the text body. the emoji too closely resembles nipples (female presenting) and i am immediately executed
like notice how nowhere in that lil staff update did they mention getting rid of nazi or white supremacist content. they still get to keep theyre racist and neofascist userbase while appearing to do something useful
this whole thing is way too good to be giffed you need to expirience it
There are so many things that are TOP quality about this. The business with the mic rope. The bounding across the stage like an excited puppy or a newsie. The Voice™️ that is so synonymous with John, you know, the voice of a guy who sells ice cream at the soda fountain in the 50’s. The analogy itself.
It’s all so beautiful, such peak humor and content.
Emmy Award Winning™️
I FOUND IT AGAIN.
Here’s the “horse loose in a hospital” bit. Good news, it has closed captioning.
“I DONT REMEMBER THAT IN HAMILTON.” OMG
God I’ve heard so much about this guy and this is my first time actually watching one of his bits. He’s as funny as y’all make him out to be tbh
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